Superhero Squad or Why Marvel Getting Bought by Disney Matters Little

The Superhero Squad Show

So, here we have a goofied up, kiddified version of Marvel, with squidgy little versions of almost the entire Marvel Universe. It's the latest in the line of proof that whatever Disney might decide to do to the Marvel Universe to try an ruin it, Joe Quesada will likely beat them to the punch.

I suppose I'm being a little unfair- it's light hearted children's fair, and I'm all for letting kid's get into comics, right? Well... yes, I am, but I also don't think going quite this stupid is doing kids any favors.

In this show, a group that strongly resembles the Avengers fights Doctor Doom in an anime-esque quest to collect all of the MacGuffin fractals to give him awesome super powers to win. Doctor Doom has assembled a Lethal Legion (read: basically every bad guy in the Marvel Universe) to fight against the Squaddies. I'm all for big superhero battles of epic proportions, and oddly, this show sort of delivers- there are more Marvel characters in this show than any I've seen before it. That being said, there are a lot of simplifications made, essentially putting the rubber claws on Wolverine.

1. It takes place in Superhero City. The city is walled off to keep the Lethal Legion out (ignore the whole flight thing).
2. The characters are all basically school children-esque.
3. Four fingers.
4. Dumbing down in general.

So, children of this generation will first see Marvel superheroes as daft, squishy, four fingered mutants who go around throwing temper tantrums, get sent back to school, and generally act like mild looney tunes. Bad guys are more Naughty guys that only really work in cartoons (the Ring Master dresses up like a lunch lady and waltzes into the X-Mansion. The Danger Room doubles as a cafeteria. Collossus is a dumb jock, Jean is a cheerleader. Only one character notices the yellow swirling eyes associated with hypnosis and Professor X has his mind controlled...).

Quelling my inner geek, this show does have a few things I like.

1. Dr. Doom is the main bad guy.
2. There are about as many marvel characters in this show as there are in JLU.
3. Each episode is inspired by a classic comic, apparently.

These few things don't really excuse the show, but they to me are signs they could have made a better show.

Youngerizing Heroes and the Slope They Slipped Off:
This trend is understandable, in some ways. X-Men was originally mutant teens at a school and X-Men: Evolution brought it back to those roots. Same thing for Ultimate Spiderman. But then we start to go further...

Iron Man armored adventures I think was the first step into hell. Here we have a young Tony Stark (okay), in a futuristic city (wait), and his father dies early (huh?) and the Mandarin is a teenage son of a crime lord with some rings (my mind!) and he fights against the evil designs of Hammer Industries trying to steal his fathers... no. Sorry, this is just TOO different in my mind. Pepper Potts is a perky teen, Rhodey is his teen buddy... this isn't Iron Man's roots, it's Iron Man skewed and re-imagined entirely.

Basically, in the Quesada era of Marvel, we know one fundamental truth: Nothing is Sacred. Not characters, origins, continuity, sense, NOTHING. If it makes a buck, it will happen. The line stops at Spiderman condoms... I'm pretty sure.

Disney, the big red M is in your court. Do your worst.